Tag Archives: what to do

How To Avoid Tan-Lines! – an ode to modern fashion

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Hi peeps!

 

Ok, so summer ist upon us. #observant

And I am very gradually coming to the conclusion that it might be time to change out the cardigans and scarves I’ve been wearing for clothes that will allow my skin to breathe and develop that radiant, healthy, sun-kissed glow.

i feel like that dress doesn’t do much for her complexion, but this is the color i’m going for

The only issue is, in order to wear summer clothing, I must own summer clothing.

In order to own summer clothing, I must buy summer clothing.

This is a very real obstacle.

See, what happens in clothing stores (and let’s be honest: we know I mean H&M #forlife) is that I walk in, all confident and cheerful, I drag myself around the aisles – despite armpit sweat and questionable oxygen levels – picking and choosing, like a good customer should.

Well.

Then, after standing in line for the changing rooms for *five minutes* (half and hour), I get to trying the things on.

And suddenly, the mirrors are surrounding me!

The flourescent lights are blinding my eyes, all I can do is to squint suspiciously at my reflection…

Searching for the clothes I supposedly just put on… And the terror hits me!

please pay us 30 bucks to be naked :)

My knees wobble.

I desperately attempt to free myself from the strips of fabric.

Whimpering, I slide down the wall and hit the floor.

My body, once so motivated and full of life, now lies helplessly on the scratchy carpet, waiting to be rescued.

One leg halfway through a pair of hot-pants, price-tags strewn around me like bullets.

Limbs twitching.

I….can’t…go on….

Accepting the vicious, cruel reality of what is now considered fashion, I consider the advantages of nudism.

No tan-lines?

should i give in to the pressures of society?

Deciding to preserve my dignity, I opt for…procrastination.

Shopping can be completed a different time.

 

Cheers,

Penny

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7 Things To Do When Your Computer’s Down

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Hi fellow Internetpeople,

So, for no particular reason, my computer got tired of its duties and decided to take a short break….for four days.

It.

Wouldn’t.

Turn.

On.

You can imagine my despair, I’m sure.

Life. I think you meant life. Life over.

Honestly, it’s a problem.

Especially because I had a big math assignment due in a week and no chance of using my laptop. It took me forever to explain my dilemma to the teacher. Who can blame her, when I then had to explain that it was really my brother’s computer because I had already broken my actual laptop by accidentally pushing it off my bed, so I couldn’t use his, and my Mom was out of town so I couldn’t use hers, and my Dad was in a different out of town so off limits as well. So convincing.

She was having none of it. Thankfully, she eventually took pity on my abysmal situation.

The one positive experience to come from my four day disaster is that a lack of computer definitely brings out the creativity in me. I have discovered all new ways to entertain myself and keep myself occupied. Or rediscovered, actually.

Soooo, first on the list of possible time killers isss:

1. Read a book! Seriously, I started reading “Jeeves and Wooster” again, and it was FABULOUS. Thank you, Jeeves. Isn’t it sad though: My parents used to have to force me to do anything but read, and then I would still read in secret. Now look. They must be proud of what they’ve accomplished.

2. Play on your phone! I’m half surprised, half pleased that this was not my very first desperate idea, because that shows there may still be hope for me.

3. Solve Sudokus! They are massively addictive though, so beware. My city has these free newspapers that have puzzle sections. It’s becoming a problem. Any logic puzzles, crosswords, you got my attention.

4. Make yo-self purty! ALL THE MAKEUP! ALL THE NAIL POLISH! ALL THE SELFIES! Might not be one for all you peeps, but, y’know, do your thing. Don’t judge me, I won’t judge you.

5. Listen to music! While practicing your slayin’ stage performance in your room – lip sinc or sing irl, both totally acceptable.

6. Go for a walk / ride your bike! I’m trying to ignore the fact that my first idea that involves leaving the house is number 6. But whenever I do leave the house, I’m always glad, so remember: Exciting things only happen outside your boundaries ;)

7. Do that DIY thing you’ve been meaning to do for months! Yeah, that one. I know you’ve got that thing. Paint a wall? Rearrange your furniture? Sew a skirt? It could be anything. Go do it.

Note: This one takes a bit of personal convincing and forced motivation, as it requires being mentally and physically active. I was almost able to replace the posters in my room. Give me six days next time, and it might happen. Oh yeah. I’ll show y’all.

Really! Pwommise :))))

So there! I hope I have provided you peeps with some ideas, whether you’re without laptop right now, planning a trip to your grandma’s place with no WiFi, or just want to turn your life around!

Be strong, everyone!

Cheers,

Penny