Category Archives: misc

like, whatever, man

Why We Can’t Get a Cat – part 2

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Dear peeps,

 

I considered titling this post “why we can’t adopt a child”, but figured that would require too much explaining. Instead, some of you may remember that time my mother decided that a proper pet should serve as interior decoration (The Aesthetics of a Perfect Cat – choosing a pet)*. Well, this is a sort of continuation of that :D

It is true that, in many ways, my mother and I share the same taste (when it comes to Jude Law, for example, or the fact that chocolate cake is not adequate unless it is basically a brownie). However, some fundamental differences have cropped up. These differences include views on curfews, skirt lengths, bright purple nail-polish, tomatoes, or cats, as previously mentioned. But never did I expect for it to go so far as….

CHILDREN

 

 

 

it's not what it sounds like

it’s not what it sounds like

 

i swear, youre getting a totally wrong idea! #diggingmyowngrave

The thing is that my mom and I have had multiple conversations in the past like this:

Penny: That’s a cute one!

Mom: Nah…

Penny: It’s a baby, how can you be so mean?

Mom: It’s just ugly.

 

innocent child, blissfully unaware of the harsh critique it is receiving

Or this:

Mom: Ok, that one’s cute!

Penny: Hm….I suppose. It’s not quite my style.

Mom: What’s wrong with it?

Penny: It’s too pale. I like the chubby ones with sparkly eyes and everything. My mother did wish for me to specify that this is a sort of parody of reality, and that she does find all  babies to be adorable (except for the screaming ones), especially the ones with sparkly eyes and everything. I guess I shouldn’t go around misrepresenting people like this.

ok, so this one might be suspecting something…

Fortunately, my mother and I probably won’t be adopting children together any time soon, so the problem remains irrelevant. Also, we’ve decided that my children will be the cutest anyway, so…I’m just going to be silent now…

 

Cheers,

Penny

 

*We really never did get a cat, by the way.

 

missed opportunities

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i ate an entire chocolate bar

in the parking lot, standing next to my car.

no one saw, they mustnt know

and now, with an ambitious glow

the wrapper crumpled in my hand

i spy, over there, a garbage can.

i raise my arm, raise it way up high

i raise it up into the sky

the heavens gasp as the wrapper flies

across the lot, across the skies

it draws a rainbow in the air

oh what finesse! oh what flair!

the wrapper disappears in the can

i holler and yell “yeahhhh whos da man?!!”

 

 

then a tear rolls down my cheek

as i think of my future, cold and bleak

i shouldve been a basketball star

instead, i get into my car

and remember: i ate an entire chocolate bar.

guess thats my legacy so far.

*screams of horror at self* *desperate crying* *comfort eating chocolate*

 

Cheers,

Penny

le petit tour de zurich :D (new video) #imadeathing

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Here’s the new YouTube video I’ve managed to upload:

the precious video #achievements

It took me forevvvvva* to edit, because my skillz on Windows Movie Maker are still….primitive, to say the least (the most?) BUT I DID IT!!!! *exhausted maniacal laughter*

*hours and literally hours and all night and day and hours of my life omgawd

 

Also, be prepared to meet a new friend of mine. :D His name is Zombiestone, and I’m quite sad to be sending him home :(

IMG_2960

Anyway, if you’d like to see me do a certain video – a tag or a challenge or whatever – just leave a comment and I’ll see what I can do ;) * to be whispered seductively*

Oh, and if you want to see my full channel, I’ve customized a cute little link, voilà: tinyurl.com/pennylunasun

 

Cheers,

Penny

yoga with penny #improveyouraura

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Namaste peeps,

 

I would like to welcome you to class, and we will begin today’s lesson in the child-pose.

Bend over and streeeetch, stretch your arms and your fingertips, stretch your freshly manicured nails, imagine a Pumpkin Spice Latte at the other end of the room and stretttch for it.

Keep your head low, and breaathe innnnn…

*thirty seconds later*

…breathe in as long as you can….

…and out…be sure to breathe out all the air, leave your lungs empty, and then keep pushing the air out…

…and just before you faint, I want you to breathe innnnnnn…

Inhale the air, absorb the vibes, appreciate the spirits around you, wonder why on earth you didn’t shower as you keep inhaling and exhaling with your face as close to your crotch as possible…

Now drift softly onto all fours, feel the energy building up around you, and rise gracefully into downward facing dog. Lift your buttocks to the sky, allowing the ceiling to marvel at the two gifts nature has given you. Keep inhaling and exhaling slowly, staying at the edge between consciousness and unconsciousness, letting your mind float in the misty synergy of your environment…

And as you inhale, let the wind carry your feet to the front of the mat, trying not to fall on your neighbor, as this would interrupt the flow of your movement…merge into chair pose, enjoy the burn in your thighs, as this is the world’s way of telling you that you are strong, stronger than anything life can throw at you.

Maybe take this moment to think of any challenge you may be experiencing this week, and realize that you have the strength of mind, the power, to overcome any difficulty.

Relax in this epiphany as we stay calmly in chair pose for a quick seven minutes, relishing the seat that the cosmos has provided you with…

And as you breathe out, exhale any negative thoughts or vibes that you have, and relinquish them into the abyss that is infinity…and come in touch with the life that is acceptance, and breathe in the new, positive energy that your classmates are now creating.

Now jump lightly into twisted half-moon,

and feel free to challenge yourself by lifting your second foot off the ground and merely hovering a few inches above your mat. This can give you a great sense of accomplishment.

And we will do a simple sequence, so follow my motions, and remember to relax and let the air guide you in your endeavors, and we will do this sequence a few times.

Whenever you fall, rely on the mountains and the oceans to raise you up, and continue when you feel ready to embark on the journey, and, um, allow the yoga mat to realine your spine if need be. Silently wait until breathing comes naturally again, and then drift back into motion.

Be connected to the universe, broaden your existence, and gradually, keeping the new-found form of destiny, release yourself into child-pose, breathing the sweat of your armpits, learning to love your natural state of being.

Thank you for coming!

 

Cheers,

Penny

Young Love

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Dear girl who couldn’t decide if she wanted her coat on or off,

 

So, two little kids, playing at the park. Suddenly, girl leans in and plants a confident smooch on boy’s mouth.

Boy runs away.

Girl chases after him, proceeds to tear at his t-shirt, nearly pulling it off.

He’s just preparing you for the future, gurl.

Ah well. Love is in the air. ^^

 

Cheers,

Penny

how i get bullied by primary-schoolers

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Dear peeps,

 

For some reason, I have no problem standing up to adults, teachers, parents, other students, friends (and “standing up” is, in *some* cases a very kind way of putting it), and yet, somehow, I must be subconciously terrified of ten-year-olds.

On the tram on the way to school, there are two that always choose to sit RIGHT BY MY FRIENDS, leaving me the only wonderful option of finding a seat at the other end of the car.

They always get off at the next stop, so then I quietly rejoin the squad, meanwhile receiving judgemental looks from the people who saw my weakness.

So am I a coward? Or is it my good heart that doesn’t want to take away something from a child?

 

Cheers,

Penny