@starbucks, subject: job ad


Dear Starbucks HR person,


I was thrilled to come across your job ad on thiswebsite.com, as I feel like this is one of the few jobs I am qualified for with only a high school diploma, and I really really really want to earn money so that I can spend it (those driving lessons aren’t going to pay for themselves).

Basically, I know everything about your coffee, because I practically live in the Starbucks coffee house nearest my home and have spent way too much money on “these beans, ground for french press, and umm..a caramel macchiato tall to go” (the upsides of having a gold membership card) so at this point, it would really be more beneficial for everyone if I just worked there.

Since I was quite an engaged member of my school’s solidarity club for three and a half years, I also know exactly how to serve people cake and coffee (including remembering to refill the napkin supply) – and this is definitely the professional quality you are looking for.

I’m also a people person (aren’t we all), so I’d love to become a super motivated new part of your team and help customers receive maximum service and enjoy every sip of their cappuccinos even more than they did before. (Actually, since I really really really want to earn money, I would in fact be super motivated.)

Now I’m kind of done with my pitch, so I’d just like you to know that I’ve attached my CV to this email (a CV that has nothing to do with coffee, because I’m still secretly hoping to find a job that will have something to do with my future career, and also because fundraising bake sales can only fill so much space), and I greatly look forward to your reply! You’ll probably reject me because someone else has more experience, like spending a summer at McDonald’s. I tried, though.





P.S. I will literally be your mascot as long as it pays.


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