Good morning peeps!
First, I would like to start off with a fun fact you might not be familiar with:
Did you know that sleep deprivation can have the same effect on you as inebriation?
Therefore, I would like to blame the following story on science, rather than my less than excellent judgement:
I’m on fall break right now, so as nature would have it, my sleeping patterns have of course gone to hell.
And, unfortunately, we all know how motivation tends to strike us in the dead of night, when everyone else is sleeping, giving us wonderful ideas of change and excitement and whatnot. Y’know, like going for a short run in the forest, ordering half of Ikea in an attempt to beautify the house, planning future broadway performances…
Now, the problem is that when one has transformed into something that could be described as “nocturnal” at best, “vampire” at most acurate, these ideas like to jump into our heads almost constantly.
So there I was, lying on the side of my face, scrolling through Pinterest, greeted over and over by pictures of smiling, laughing, cool, gorgeous girls, posing in cozy sweaters, grinning seductively into the camera. At first, I continued to lie on my face, unphased, scrolling, drooling, like the sad creature that I was.
But then, I began to recognize a pattern: Many of these girls had bangs!
Well, I sighed, I guess I’ll never be that stylish. For my mother had often advised me against getting bangs, insisting that they wouldn’t look good on me.
Then, however, a wave of rebellion suddenly hit me: I could rock bangs! I could pull them off! And I would!
And so began half and hour of careful measuring, brushing, snipping, scrutinizing, and eventually, realization.
As I stared into the mirror at this
the gravity of my actions finally dawned on me.
Needless to say, a large variety of profanities followed, as well as a few tears, until I managed to fall asleep, accepting that I was probably going to have nightmares.
I did go to the hairdresser the next day, and look quite human again, but shall we just say: I have learned things.
Heed my warning.