I would like to tell you about my undying desire to be a boy.
Ok, perhaps I should rephrase this:
I wanna be Spiderman, and walk around like a boss, and be strong and save people, and I wanna be sweaty and gross and impressive and cool – I don’t want to be Mary-Jane, a damsel in distress! I mean look at her:
I’m just saying. The similarity. It is there. (I’m actually wondering if I should vote for Kristen)
I guess my point is: Girls are nevvvver the hero! And when they are, then:
I just feel like the super-femme application form must look a lot like this:
Please answer the following questions:
- select here for complementary surgical enlargement
I would like to wear the following Outfit**:
Would you like a personal hair-stylist? (extra charges may apply)
- only before I meet Batman / Superman / the sexy super-villain
**Warning: Absence of permanent wedgie not guaranteed.
Basically, I wasn’t even allowed to watch Cat Woman until I was thirteen because the images were considered “too explicit”.
And so I turned my attention to more practical goals. I decided I would be Spiderman.
I dreamt of having spidey powers. I pretended to have spidey powers, I owned spidey merch (stolen from my brother), I wore spidey costumes.
That was my childhood.
I still want to be spidey.
And I’ve forgotten what I wanted to say.
Nevermind. Go web go!