The Truth About Black Audis


Good morning peeps!

Now you might wonder what on earth I could possibly tell anyone about cars, and you would be right. However, the truth is always (or at least often) in the eye of the beholder, so don’t underestimate my ability to edify just yet.


You have no idea what expertise are simply waiting to amaze you.

So trust me; I may not know how to change a tire, I may not know know how to drive a stick – in fact, I can’t drive at all – but let me enlighten the world about just one thing: black audis.


Look at it. It appears innocent enough, no?


Wanna be friends? No. Don’t even. Don’t listen to it. I know it’s shiny.

Well believe me when I assure you: This car may be harmless. But. Its driver is not.

There is something about the slick, slightly bad-ass look of the black audi, the smooth drive, the subtle gear shifts (actually, I wouldn’t know if this is true, but you get my point) that attracts a *certain* type of person like BEES TO HONEY. I kid you not.

*applause for fabulous pun* – mehhhhh

These drivers are a special kind of evil, for they do not seem to realize that – as my mother so cleverly put it – the laws of physics (or any laws, really) apply to them.

Let me visualize my message. Some typical, endearing habits of said drivers include, but are not limited to:

1. Riding your tail.

2. Driving through red lights.

3. Motioning profanities via car windows.

4. Passing at inconvenient – yes, this is a euphamism for “life threatening” – times.

And though I have no official studies or scientific evidence to “prove” this, my family and I have seen it happen time and again. Therefore, I’d like to call out to society, in an attempt to bring awareness to this topic of mass insanity! Pray to the gods – or better, car dealers – that one day, black audis might be saved from the fate of being cursed with such an unsightly reputation! Trust that things can get better! Nothing is impossible!

paradox, anyone?

Heed the warning! Don’t be that guy! …And drive safely ;)





4 responses »

  1. I’m guilty as sin here lol I’m a black Audi owner and I always do 1 and 4.
    I will most certainly try to fix this but no guarantees :)

    Liked by 1 person

      • I’ve recognized the danger years ago though… Also, I’ve always admitted it too but I don’t know, it’s just so difficult not to. People drive so stupid! I have 0 patience for it…

        Liked by 1 person

Feel free to express yourselves :) #madonnareference

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